It's not that I have anything against snakes, I'm just not sure how much I trust them. So remember that story, of the woman who claimed her snake was pleasant and sweet, it even slept next to her in bed every night? Then we find out the snake was actually sizing her up! The snake was trying to figure out if he was large enough to EAT HER!!!! YES, the "cute" and "cuddly" snake the woman had been convinced was nothing like the snake horror stories we might think, learned that her snake wanted to EAT HER!!! Honestly I'd be shook. Honestly I AM Shook; Shook HARD.
Which leads me to Snake Massages. I just can't trust them anymore. I felt like I was pretty open to snakes prior to hearing that story, but now, how can we ever know what they're thinking?!
But hey if this seems right up your creepy crawly alley, The Dreaming Goddness in New York will totally hook you up. Actually Serpentess Gretchen will totally let her giant boa constrictor slither all over you, and then call in a MASSAGE.
Yeahhhhhh, Imma sit this one out.